The last month has been about a break up, a new job and saying goodbye to the life that had been anchoring my days of freedom for four months.For a little while I thought I’d traded my precious self for a pay check. Then I realised there’s no trade-off here. I made the choices I made.
I was the one calling for a deeper awareness of myself and my world to propel me forward. So to complain because it manifested in a way I hadn’t envisioned (ouch) is absurd. It is what it is.
I keep hearing ‘it’s happening for me, not to me’. It makes me smile (if a little wryly) because I know I’ll look back and think yeh, I’m glad it rolled this way.
Birds of Tokyo – This fire.
The built environment and nature – architecture and clouds.
Arcade Fire – Wake up (Acoustic-Live)
There are no fairytales.
No antidote to the poisoned apple.
No rooms full of gold.
Houses are made of plaster.
And beans are just beans.
Wolves roam free.
Bears aren’t saviours.
No-one likes porridge.
Everyone uses lighters.
Five star restaurants serve venison.
Cats don’t wear boots.
Girls cut their hair.
And a man grows taller than everyone else.
Kingswood. Wolf (cover of the First Aid Kit song).
Because how could you not love this cover?!
Eskimo Joe Love is a drug.
If I cried.
Those tears weren’t yours.
If I spoke.
Those words were mine.
If I was lost.
It was my faulty guidance.
If those fields of opium existed.
Those poppy dreams were mine.
If I fell.
I stumbled alone.
If I wished you well.
The gratitude was all mine.
If I didn’t know you.
I wouldn’t know what was gone.
If life lasted.
These words would be yours.
La Caution – Thé à la Menthe
No one seems to tell us what you want might just look like fear. It might mean thinking you’re rubbish and still doing it anyway, when no one you know thinks it’s a smart choice.
But your heart, your precious heart keeps saying go.
Not because this world is full of those who tried – that’s not your dream- but because sometimes there’s no other choice.
Because your heart wins.
Because even though you think you’ll screw up there’s this glimmer saying maybe.
Maybe you’ll bounce off the ropes, maybe those bruises will fade, maybe backing yourself is the most nauseating, curl up in a ball thing you’ll ever do and maybe you’ll do it anyway.
Because fuck it, sometimes it’s worth falling to stand up.
Because sometimes what feels like fear is your dream in disguise.
Chris Cornell - Be Yourself (Led Zeppelin cover)
Never let yourself miss out on something beautiful because you’re waiting for someone else to give it to you. That is all :)
London Grammar. Wasting your young years.