Most of humanity lives their lives defending what they’ve been given because they think it’s who they are (from Raptitude).
This is going to sound like I’m a total newbie to the world, but it’s only lately I’ve come to realise how much we can change our stories. I’ve always believed we are born as we are, there are some characteristics always ours. I’m wrong, it’s mostly not true.
I was shy as a child, actually I probably wasn’t, but my sister was more extroverted than me. So all I (think) I heard growing up, was how quiet and shy I was. I thought that was me.
Someone said to me recently, you always seem to like guys who are really extroverted and have loads of self-confidence and I said immediately, yeah that’s because I’m the opposite, I’m shy. Then I thought, hold on I’m not like that at all. What am I saying?! Sure I like people with the confidence to back themselves, I love that, but not because I’m shy, but because I find it inspiring and life-affirming. Not apologising to the world for who you are? I adore that quality but again, not because I’m shy.
I’ve told myself stories that aren’t true. Kind of like twisted fairy tales. Grrrrrr. So the shy thing? I figured if I could do all the presentations I do, I’m not a shy one. And that’s one piece of evidence, I’ve a million more.
It’s endless, the myriad of things we tell ourselves that hold us in place, while we defend what we think we have to stick with.
I’m not like that.
That’s not for me.
That’s not my story.
I don’t do that.
I’ll always be fat or unhealthy or bad at maths or languages or whatever.
I used to believe it was hard to change what we think. For example my story would always involve a struggle to achieve what I wanted or to let go of things. I’m not so convinced now. All I’ve done is defend an old belief and I’ve been way too humble about the power of the human mind to change.
No wonder we become so confused and unsure of who we are.
We have the right (and the ability) to leave behind who we used to be and just be as we are now, in this moment. You know, let our breath out, let the restlessness and the disconnect go. You’ll find you’re not playing a role anymore, the role of who you used to be or what you used to like. It’s like relaxing into a bean bag, except you’re relaxing into you, your consciousness.
The beauty of this is when we stop defending who we used to be, we gain the potential of so many new experiences (I’m paraphrasing David Cain there). We either reaffirm to ourselves this is who we are or who we are not, but either way we open up to something else.
Letting ourselves change is about seeing ourselves, now. I was walking home the other night and the magic of my walk home had faded. I couldn’t work out why, there was a full moon and the sea was lit up but I just didn’t feel the opening of my soul, the walk usually brings me. When I was almost at the end the wind came up and blew my hair around and it made me smile because it felt so free, and suddenly the words in my head were ‘there you are’. And I was there in that moment.
There’s fluidity in being human, it’s why we’re adaptable and flexible and why we probably still exist. The human body constantly adapts and so does the human mind. So there is no reason at all any story has to be your story forever, unless you want it to be.
We can choose not to defend who are not anymore. We can defend nothing, question everything and be exactly who we are today.
There you are.