I don’t have another job and I don’t have a plan to look for one for at least a month.
I haven’t regretted it for a moment.
I didn’t know I could be this brave.
I never knew I would follow my heart and still make a considered decision.
I remember saying to a friend of mine I was just whingeing, that this was a first world problem and I should suck it up and keep turning up.
Except I couldn’t.
It took me two months to decide and two weeks of coming to work and making my job the best job in the world, to be sure the way I felt wasn’t coming from something else in my life.
Without realising it, I’d outgrown my job.
For so long my job filled a need in me to be needed. I adored being the go to girl who solved my clients’ issues, who my staff needed for direction. It validated I was worthwhile and Ok and I had some power and control. It was validating who I wanted to be. Except along the way I became who I actually am and external validation stopped mattering.
I figured I was enough. And the qualities I’d wanted my job to mirror weren’t really me at all. I didn’t need to be needed anymore.
And I felt relief.
I’ll be back in my corporate world again in a few months but it will be a very different experience. I feel like it’ll be about the processes and not the client relationships. I’ll be able to play to my skills instead of feeling I need to prove myself in areas that aren’t who I am.
I’m smiling. Anything is possible.
So I’ve five more weeks and then I’ve a passport and a Nikon and a world map….
Radioactive Imagine Dragons